Hiei's Nightmare
by Karine Dragon'sheart
Summary: Heheheh. Summarywise, there isn't a plot I just wanted to make poor, tortured Hiei try and kill Kurama, and continously fail. Rated for language.


**Hiei: You are demented.**

**KD: Still funny as hell.  
Kurama: It is, actually…you did well!**

**KD: -swoon- You…really…think so?**

**K: Of course!**

**KD: -squeals- Kurama-sama, marry me!**

**H: Heh…Do the damn disclaimer!  
K: -fights KD as she attempts to smother him in kisses- Uh, just do as the other demon says, please!**

**KD: Awww…..Here goes:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH…nor would I actually do this to a fire demon. (That's suicide, incidentally.)**

_Hiei's Nightmare…_

It was a beautiful, sunny day, alive with colors and sounds, a plethora of light and happiness. And to dreary, dark Hiei, the worst of all nightmares.

"Hiei, come on."

"Hn. Leave me alone, Fox."

"Hiei, it's just the sun."

"Says you."

"It won't kill you."

"Don't think I'll take that chance."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Shut up, Kurama."

The tired yoko sighed and massaged his eyes. Hiei had a feeling that he had another massive headache, and preened with delight. If that damn fox wanted _him_ to go out, he was going to pay. In double. Two very peeved green eyes glared down at him, and for a moment, Hiei contemplated his chances of escape. But Kurama, thoughtfully reading his mind, snapped his fingers smartly, and Hiei found himself bound by several thick vines, the ends of which rested in Kurama's free hand.

"Keep struggling and I'll add a few well placed thorns." The shorter demon snarled, but as usual, wasn't noticed as his partner calmly began dragging him through the house, speeding up a little as the porch steps came into view.

"Oh no…"

"Oh, yes."

"Kurama, I-OW! OW! OWW! YOU-(The following will not be typed as it contains content unsuitable for _anyone's _ears, innocent or not. Thank you, and have a nice day.)-FOX!"

"Yes?"

"LOOK AT ME! YOU STUPID SON OF A-"

"Stop while you still have a head. You _know_ that insulting my mother is what makes summoning my demon aspect so easy…"

"…Hn…"

"Is that all you have to say?"

"!#$&&#&#$!#$!#$$&!" (Don't even bother translating that. I think we all get the picture.)

"Thought not. Look, there's Yusuke and Kuwabara. I let you go when we meet up."

"Riiiight….Like I believe you."

"I will!" Hiei snorted.

"I _will. _I promise."

"Fine. I'll hold you to it." Kurama mused this over, then smirked over his shoulder.

"And how will you make me keep it?" He asked innocently, smiling like an idiot as steam poured from Hiei's ears, and daggers sharpened in his eyes. As usual, he didn't have an answer, just a snarl.

"Hi, Kurama! Where's Hie-AIIIEEE!" Yusuke jumped back as Hiei summoned every bit of power from his Jagan eye and blasted away Kurama's vines, his sword out and aimed at the seemingly calm Kitsune. Who, once again, brushed it aside and wrapped up Hiei once again, only this time with the aforementioned thorns.

"Come along. What's Koenma's assignment now?"

"OW…OW…OWW."

"Something along the lines of the Fangirl problem."

"OW…DAMN…OWWW."

"You're kidding me. He _finally_ decided that the deluge of fanmail and hysterical women is a real problem?"

"OW….STUPID….OWW."

"Yep."

"OWW…FOX…OWWW…"

"About time. What took him so long?"

"OWWWW…."

"Botan's oar finally did it. Apparently he was actually promising us off to the girls that expressed a liking to _him_ at first. Turns out Baby-face was quite the ladies' man. Did you notice that Hiei's stopped his moaning?"

"No, actually, I di-WATCH OUT!" Kurama shoved both Kuwabara and Yusuke off into some prickly bushes, just as Hiei came screaming down, his sword right where Kurama had been. It stuck in the ground below the crumbling cement, giving Kurama enough time to immobilize Hiei again, this time with a gag over his mouth and his sword at Kurama's side.

"Jeez…you just don't give up, do you?"

"MMMMPH!" (NO SHIT!)

"Hiei, why can't you just enjoy the spring?"

"MMMPH! MMM MMM MPH!" (EASY! I'M NOT YOU!)

"Oh well. Not everybody's as perfect as I." And with a dainty spin, Kurama practically skipped away, Hiei bumping off telephone poles and benches, storefronts and painfully sharp broken glass. Screaming.

"MMMMMMPPPHHHHH!" (KURAMA!)

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Hiei woke up in a cold sweat, and with a vehement curse, stomped up to Kurama's room, sword glistening in hand, only to find that the Kitsune had disappeared once again…

**I am so cruel. To anybody who's officially in love with Hiei, I so apologize. This is wrong, and very, very inhumane…BUT IT NEEDED TO GET OUT! If you want, I'll torture Kuwabara next time. I suppose it's safer, since even his admirers diss him. (Sadly, I'll never write this way about Kurama-sama…unless I _really_ have a mean streak going.) However, Hiei and I devised a bit of reverse psychology for fun…once we caught up with Kurama at the airport, of course…**

**-four and a half hours later-**

**Hiei: That was cruel, very cruel…I respect that.**

**KD: Thought you might.**

**Kurama: MMMPH! (HEY!)**

**KD/H: MUAHAHAHAHA! (creepy…)**

**Laters!**

**KD**


End file.
